Couples Therapy: How to Stay Close After Baby
8 Ways Your Relationship With Your Partner Changes After Baby Can we pencil in a quick bone sesh for Friday at 9 after the kids are in bed. o actual role arrangements in which husbands and wives are o more conflict and disagreement after the baby is born than they had reported before; of their marriage, having a baby can lead to a revitalized relationship. Ups and downs in relationships after having a baby. Decisions about One partner may also be adjusting to life at home with a baby rather than being at work.5 Ways to Reconnect with Husband after Having Baby ✔
You have sex half as often, and it's twice the hassle. Of course you're in love, you're just not in the mood for getting naked under the covers. Step one, says Lindquist, is to get in the mood.
And the best way is to plan time for having sex. Sure, people joke about making dates for sex, but "remember, when you were dating, you did plan when you were going to have sex. You got ready for a night out and thought about it beforehand.
Get a sitter, shave your legs, and flirt a little.
How to Stay Close After Baby
As for increasing the frequency of sex on nondate nights, experienced parents recommend making sure your bedroom is baby-free at bedtime. Couple Time The issue: Couple time is now family time.
You're always together, but no longer alone. Whether you've been a couple for years or just met and wanted to have a baby quickly, jumping from a twosome to a family is challenging.
8 Shocking Ways Marriage Changes After Baby
And we both worked a lot and went to the gym on our own. Now we're glued to each other and to Carly, but we also don't feel like we ever have any time together.
First, you need to schedule time together, says Lindquist. But besides dates, plan brief "meetings," where you can bring up household and baby-care issues such as an upcoming doctor's appointment or which stroller to buy. My husband and I end our household discussions with an ice-cream-fest to avoid feeling too burdened by it all. In this way your dates won't be overtaken by baby talk and you can share the stuff you used to: Yes, you should continue your three book clubs if that makes you happy, but then you should also indulge your husband when he wants to train for the marathon.
The Grandparents The issue: The grandparents are on the scene and want time with baby—a lot of it. You have a right to say no, no matter how generous they've been with gifts or babysitting time. Be kind, but firm: He made it sound like we thought they were being too generous with their time.
Now, as long as we check in fairly regularly with updates on the baby, they call first before stopping by," says Meyer. Becoming a Parent Could Mean More Trouble With Your In-Laws Another sanity-saving strategy is to choose specific times during the week for when they can come by that are preferable for you. If your parents feel like you're making time for them, they'll be less pushy.
And you can deflect an invitation, guilt-free, by saying, "I need to check my calendar. Money matters more than you thought. We were paying for childcare, and I wasn't bringing anything in. I felt guilty and thought I should take on most of the housework—which meant I wasn't writing—and Jim got resentful.
Peterson adds that new parents, who may be new homeowners or considering purchasing a house, are often overwhelmed by finances. But there are a lot of solutions to financial problems," she says. One idea is to try living on one salary for six months when you're both working. If there is tension: Avoid criticism or blame. Postnatal depression PND can affect both mums and dads — and have a big impact on relationships.
If you think that you or your partner is suffering from depression, then supporting each other and finding help is really important. Wider relationships The birth of a baby may bring some relationships with friends and family closer than you expect, and others may become more distant or challenging. Many parents find friends and family will offer advice and opinions — sometimes unasked for and sometimes in conflict with your own parenting ideas. For many parents the support that may be offered by grandparents, other relations, friends and even neighbours can be invaluable.
Time together and for yourself Looking after yourselves as a couple and as individuals is important. It may be simplistic but if you are happy you are more likely to be happy in your role as a parent too.
Make time for yourselves as a couple — maybe try to fit or adapt some of the things you used to enjoy together into your new life, such as watching a DVD or having a takeaway. Take some time out with friends or on your own, doing something you enjoy or find relaxing. It will be a learning curve in the first few weeks and months, but with the right support, you can work it out together.
Marriage After Baby: 6 Solutions to Common Problems
And definitely don't let it be like this forever—you both could use some good sex, are we right? You love your baby more than your partner The change "Once we had our baby, we were a little distant from each other.
It obviously hurt my husband's feelings—we were mostly distant because all I wanted to do was be around the baby.
So he made me sit down and he lectured me about how we are still married and our relationship is just as important. But you may not have predicted that, at least for a little while, you would practically forget that your partner exists. How to deal Try not to let it get in between you. Niceties have gone out the window The change "It has caused a lot of friction between us.
We've bickered much more than we used to. I don't want to use the term fight, because to me, that means yelling and feelings being hurt.
We just snap at each other more easily. Need some extra help? There are now apps out there—like Lasting —that ask you some questions to get to know your relationship, and then map out a program to improve your communication and conflict skills and weave healthy habits and romantic rituals into your daily lives.
There's no such thing as downtime The change "The time we used to have for each other, where I would lie on the couch with my husband for two hours at night, is gone. Now that time is spent cleaning up, prepping things for the next day bottles, outfits and doing household chores. Watch trashy reality TV together, play Rock Band, read novels in bed and then switch when you were done. All that cool, fun, intimate stuff is gone—at least for now, while you have zero time to waste.
How to deal You've got to challenge yourselves to bond while emptying the diaper pail and cleaning mashed sweet potatoes out of the high chair's crevices. Not sexy, but if you think about it, it's kind of sweet that you two are in this together. Despite all that tough stuff, you have a new bond The change "The first year, our relationship was good and bad.
Bad because we were sleep deprived and, well, both my husband and I are grumpy without sleep.