On-Again, Off-Again Relationships: Can They Work? | Her Campus
phase is more likely to cycle once you live together or are married. But I'm here to argue in defense of on-again/off-again relationships. According to a new study, on-off relationships may not be that bad. 23 percent of married couples had reported breaking up and getting back. After one too many on again off again relationships, I decided to ask an as longer timelines to commitment and marriage in the modern age.
When you and your ex are willing and excited to take each other back after going through a breakup, that's a pretty good sign that you'll get through every misunderstanding and drunken fight.
Crucial Relationship Advice for On-again, Off-again Couples
You're willing to stand up for each other. When you take someone back who's hurt you before, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do. Your friends and family care about you -- they only want to protect you.
But when they're questioning you, it can get rough and feel like you're being attacked.
- 8 Great Things About On-Again/Off-Again Relationships
- On-Again, Off-Again Relationships: Can They Work?
Trying again shows you're willing to defend your significant other and align yourself most closely with them. You've seen your relationship be derailed by practicalities before, so you don't underestimate the power of them.
You know how important it is to be on the same page and to make decisions together. Love can't fix everything -- you have to commit to working together.
8 Great Things About On-Again/Off-Again Relationships | HuffPost
You didn't destroy your chance at a relationship when the circumstances weren't right. Sometimes it's going to be really hard to make a relationship work. If you're in totally different places, either physically or in what you want out of life, the relationship is going to be fraught with hardship. Maybe if we tried forcing it too early on, we could have ended never wanting to speak again. Instead, when the stars aligned, we still loved each other.
You know how to have tough conversations.
Not all relationships carry heartbreak from the same relationship with it. A lot of people would think that's a heavy burden for a relationship, but I think it makes you better prepared to have hard conversations. Your heart has been hurt before, thus you're not willing to ignore your worries or brush difficult decisions under the rug. When you commit, you're really committed. You both know you can't mess around with each other's lives or feelings because there's already been so much history.
When you get back together, for real this time, you mean it. The uncleared things only lead to a benefit of doubt. These doubts and lack of clarity just add to the mess. Unless you don't put a tick mark on the issues that need to be resolved, and see them getting resolved, there is no point being in such a union.
Evaluate the Pros and Cons No decision should be, or can be, taken without evaluating the pros and cons, especially if it is to be taken for something as important as a relationship. We are sure you must have done that in the past, but there are chances that your heart overruled the decision back then.
One thought that overrides the 'happiness and satisfaction quotient' in these relationships is the amount of time invested. If you have been with this lover of yours for a decade, you are likely to shun the thought of finding a better partner, simply because of the time, emotions, effort, etc, etc, invested.
Helen McGrath, a counseling psychologist and lecturer at Deakin University, states, 'People don't easily give up when it comes to relationships. Often they feel there's a huge investment at stake, and a sense that, 'Well, I've given it so many years, I might as well see if I can make it work'. Observe the Repetitive Pattern We agree that the thrill of getting back to an ex after a break can be alluring, but that's just initially, right?
As we said earlier, reunited again after one breakup, at the most two, is still acceptable. But if you have invested a significant phase of your life living in this repetitive mode of getting back and away, hoping at one time to find true love in someone else, and at another, realizing that the ex was better than the new one, then perhaps you need to rethink.
You need to end it. Don't be Stuck in the Past Most of us tend to get hung on to our ex. We tend to compare the moments we spend with a prospect, to the moments we spent with our on-and-off partner. This comparison paves way for nothing but disappointments, and it is this disappointment that prevents you from a entering a new and happy future that you deserve.
Most couples tend to keep in touch with their ex. Strong emotions involved, somewhat missing the presence of this relationship, just to keep a tab on how the other one is doing. Most decide to remain friends, but with such messed up association, it is extremely difficult to move on while being 'friends'.
You would never know when the talking would lead to meeting, and when the meeting would lead to a steamy makeup, putting you in the same spot from where you wanted to move on. Cut all the threads that link you to him or her, and never walk that road again. Be Open to New Roads in Life Many times, we are just too scared to let anyone else come so close to us again.
We sort of confine ourselves in preconceived set of notions, and limit our possibilities of actually finding the right mate. Perhaps, the experiences of being in a toxic relationship has marred your belief, hope, or faith in healthy relationships, in right relationships!
Why not start looking at life, at people with a refreshing approach? Perhaps it is this change in approach that you need to meet that ideal one. At last, what must be done, must be done. If after living the movie that keeps on repeating itself over and over again, if after dealing with failing hopes and desires, you have realized that it is nothing but a rut in which you are stuck in, then it is best to let go of the relationship.
Most people think that they will not find anyone better, or will not feel the same connection with anyone else. Therefore, they continue to be in the same demoralizing, depreciating relationship, when, as a matter of fact, they should ideally close this chapter for good and move on. Just stop giving yourself false hopes in this aspect. We know that the connection, attraction, togetherness, in short, the amount of time that you two have spent together is valuable and special.
The place that you have for that person in your heart is irreplaceable.