Hephaestion and alexander relationship counseling

Hephaestion - Wikipedia

Hephaestion was one of Alexander the Great's most loyal companions, following and advising him as he conquered much of the known world. Alexander the Great's lifelong companion was Hephaestion, the son of a Macedonian noble man Hephaestion was Alexander's closest friend. Hephaestion son of Amyntor, was an ancient Macedonian nobleman and a general in the army of Alexander the Great. He was "by far the dearest of all the king's friends; he had been brought up with Alexander and shared all his secrets. " This relationship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others Many scholars cite Hephaestion's age as being similar to Alexander's.

Curtius [47] states that Hephaestion was the sharer of all his secrets; and Plutarch [48] describes an occasion when Alexander had a controversial change to impose and implies that Hephaestion was the one with whom Alexander discussed it and who arranged for the change to be implemented. According to the painting done by Aetion of Alexander's first wedding, Hephaestion was his torch bearer best manshowing by this not only his friendship, but also his support for Alexander's policies as Alexander's choice of an Asian bride had not been a popular one.

By the time they returned to Persia Hephaestion was officially, by title, Alexander's second-in-command, as he had long been in practice, and also his brother-in-law. Hammond sums up their public relationship well: Thus Alexander honoured Hephaestion both as the closest of his friends and the most distinguished of his Field Marshals. The Getty Villa Museum. It has been suggested by some modern scholars that as well as being close friends Alexander and Hephaestion were also lovers despite the fact that hardly any of Alexander's extant ancient Greek or Roman biographers ever refers to Hephaestion as anything but Alexander's friend, [36] [51] consistent with Hephaestion's epithet "Philalexandros" which was given to him by Alexander himself.

It happened right at the beginning of the campaign in Asia when Alexander led a contingent of the army to visit Troyscene of the events in his beloved Iliad. He laid a wreath on the tomb of Achilles and Hephaestion laid a wreath on the tomb of Patroclus and they ran a race, naked, to honour their dead heroes.

Arrian discreetly draws no conclusions from this, but, according to Thomas R. Martin, by no means does the identification of Alexander and Hephaestion with Achilles and Patroclus equate to their being homosexuals as Homerauthor of the Iliad, never suggested that Achilles and his close friend Patroclus were homosexual or that they had sexual relations. Martin further suggests this concept was theorized by unspecified "later authors", [36] who include however such eminent writers as Aeschylus and Plato [55] that had lived before Alexander and Hephaestion's time.

Thus, according to Robin Lane Fox quite different conclusions can be drawn: Already the two were intimate, Patroclus and Achilles even to those around them; the comparison would remain to the end of their days and is proof of their life as lovers, for by Alexander's time, Achilles and Patroclus were agreed to have enjoyed the relationship which Homer himself had never directly mentioned.

Martin, homosexual affairs were seen as abnormal by majority Greek standards of their time. According to Eva Cantarellafor instance, male bisexuality was widely permitted and ruled by law, and generally not frowned upon by the public to the extent to which it remained within the preset limits.

Personal relationships of Alexander The Great | World Of Alexander The Great

The Greeks used to approach the relationships between men in a very different way from how they will be dealt with today with exceptions of course. For the Greeks "homosexuality was not an exclusive choice. Loving another man was not an option out of the norm, different, somehow deviant. It was just a part of life experience; it was the show of an either sentimental or sexual drive that, over a lifetime, alternated and was associated sometimes at the very same time with love for a woman".

Some Roman and later writers, taking the Athenian pattern as their example, have tended to assume either that Alexander and Hephaestion had a sexual relationship which belonged to their adolescence, after which they left it behind, or that one of them was older, the lover erastes and the other was the beloved eromenos despite there being scarcely any direct evidence that Alexander and Hephaestion had a sexual relationship at all. As Robin Lane Fox says, "descendants of the Dorians were considered and even expected to be openly homosexual, especially among their ruling class, and the Macedonian kings had long insisted on their pure Dorian ancestry".

Lucianwriting in his book On Slips of the Tongue, [63] describes an occasion when Hephaestion's conversation one morning implied that he had been in Alexander's tent all night, and Plutarch [64] describes the intimacy between them when he tells how Hephaestion was in the habit of reading Alexander's letters with him, and of a time when he showed that the contents of a letter were to be kept secret by touching his ring to Hephaestion's lips.

Diogenes of Sinope, in a letter written to Alexander when he was a grown man, accuses Alexander of being "ruled by Hephaestion's thighs". As Andrew Chugg says, "it is surely incredible that Alexander's reaction to Hephaestion's death could indicate anything other than the closest relationship imaginable". In the context of the nature of their relationship however, one stands out as remarkable. Arrian says that Alexander "flung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his Companions".

In this picture we can see Hephaestion point out Alexander. Such an all-encompassing love often leaves little room for other affections.

Hephaestion was the best friend of Alexander, his king and his commanding officer, so it is not surprising that we only hear of several other close friendships or attachments in his life. There is no evidence, however, that he was anything but popular and well liked among the group of Alexander's close friends and Companions who had grown up together, and worked well together for so many years.

It is possible that he was closest to Perdiccasbecause it was with Perdiccas that he went on the mission to take Peuceolatis and bridge the Indus. By that time, as Alexander's effective second-in-command, he could doubtless have chosen any officer he cared to name. It is notable that their two cavalry regiments in particular were selected by Alexander for the dangerous crossing of the river Hydaspes before the battle with the Indian king, Porus.

On that occasion superb teamwork would have been of paramount importance. Outside the close-knit coterie of the Macedonian high command he had his enemies. This is clear from Arrian's comment about Alexander's grief: Arrian [71] mentions a quarrel with Alexander's secretary Eumenes but, because of a missing page in the text, the greater part of the detail is missing, leaving only the conclusion that something persuaded Hephaestion, though against his will, to make up the quarrel.

However, Plutarch, who wrote about Eumenes in his series of Parallel Lives[72] mentions that it was about lodgings and a flute-player, so perhaps this was an instance of some deeper antagonism breaking out into a quarrel over a triviality. What that antagonism might have been, it is not possible to know, but someone with the closeness to the king of a secretary might well have felt some jealousy for Hephaestion's even greater closeness.

In only one instance is Hephaestion known to have quarrelled with a fellow officer and that was with Craterus. In this instance it is easier to see that resentment might have been felt on both sides, for Craterus was one of those officers who vehemently disliked Alexander's policy of integrating Greek and Persian, whereas Hephaestion was very much in favour.

Plutarch tells the story: Once on the expedition to India they actually drew their swords and came to blows It is a measure of how high feelings were running over this contentious issue that such a thing should have happened and also an indication of how closely Hephaestion identified Alexander's wishes with his own.

Hephaestion gave perhaps the ultimate proof of this in the summer of BC, when he accepted as his wife Drypetis, daughter of Darius and sister to Alexander's own second wife Stateira. They became brothers-in-law, and yet there was more to it than that. Alexander, says Arrian "wanted to be uncle to Hephaestion's children".

They arrived in the autumn and it was there, during games and festivals, that Hephaestion fell ill with a fever. Arrian says that after the fever had run for seven days, Alexander had to be summoned from the games to Hephaestion, who was seriously ill. He did not arrive in time; by the time he got there, Hephaestion was dead. His meal, however, seems to have caused a relapse that led to his rapid death. Precisely why this should have happened is not known.

As Mary Renault says, "This sudden crisis in a young, convalescent man is hard to account for.

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This would have led to internal bleeding, though it would be unusual in that case for death to follow quite as swiftly as it seems to have done here. For that reason, it is not possible altogether to discount other possible explanations, one of them being poison.

What was the REAL relationship Between Alexander the Great and Hephaestion?

Following Hephaestion's death his body was cremated and the ashes were taken to Babylon. Plutarch says that "Alexander's grief was uncontrollable" and adds that he ordered many signs of mourning, notably that the manes and tails of all horses should be shorn, the demolition of the battlements of the neighbouring cities and the banning of flutes and every other kind of music. Plutarch says they were massacred as an offering to the spirit of Hephaestion and it is quite possible to imagine that to Alexander this might have followed in spirit Achilles' killing of "twelve high-born youths" beside Patroclus' funeral pyre.

Arrian tells us that "Many of the Companions, out of respect for Alexander, dedicated themselves and their arms to the dead man". When the reply came saying he might be worshipped not as a god, but as a divine heroAlexander was pleased and "from that day forward saw that his friend was honoured with a hero's rites". Its cost is variously given in the sources as 10, talents or 12, talents. It is difficult to give a modern equivalent for such a huge amount but we know that in Hephaestion's time, the daily wage of a skilled worker was two or three drachmas.

The contests ranged from literature to athletics and 3, competitors took part, the festival eclipsing anything that had gone before both in cost and in numbers taking part. He employed Stasicrates"as this artist was famous for his innovations, which combined an exceptional degree of magnificence, audacity and ostentation", to design the pyre for Hephaestion. The first level was decorated with two hundred and forty ships with golden prows, each of these adorned with armed figures with red banners filling the spaces between.

On the second level were torches with snakes at the base, golden wreaths in the middle and at the top, flames surmounted by eagles. The third level showed a hunting scene, and the fourth a battle of centaursall done in gold. When Philoxenus, the commander of his forces on the sea-board, wrote that there was with him a certain Theodorus of Tarentum, who had two youths of surpassing beauty to sell, and inquired whether Alexander would buy them, Alexander was incensed, and cried out many times to his friends, asking them what shameful thing Philoxenus had ever seen in him that he should spend his time in making such disgraceful proposals.

His moral approach towards sexual relations also extended to relations with prisoners of war: But as for the other captive women, seeing that they were surpassingly stately and beautiful, he merely said jestingly that Persian women were torments to the eyes. And displaying in rivalry with their fair looks the beauty of his own sobriety and self-control, he passed them by as though they were lifeless images for display. The above quotations would be in line with the thoughts laid about before him by Aristotle, who regarded relationships based purely on carnal relations to be shameful.

He distributed to his companions cloaks with purple borders and dressed the horses in Persian harness. In addition to all this, he added concubines to his retinue in the manner of Darius, in number not less than the days of the year and outstanding in beauty as selected from all the women of Asia.

Each night these paraded about the couch of the king so that he might select the one with whom he would lie that night. There is no evidence that Alexander sought intimacy with women outside of marriage, however he did marry three times: There is speculation that Stateira could have been pregnant when he died; if so, she and her child played no part in the succession battles which ensued after his death.

There is speculation that he may have fathered another child, Heraclesof a woman said to be his concubine Barsine the daughter of satrap Artabazus of Phrygia in BC. In a man who named cities after his horse and dog, this strains credulity.

Hephaestion Alexander had a close emotional attachment to his companion, cavalry commander hipparchos and childhood friend, Hephaestion.

He studied with Alexander, as did a handful of other children of Macedonian aristocracy, under the tutelage of Aristotle. Hephaestion makes his appearance in history at the point when Alexander reaches Troy. There the two friends made sacrifices at the shrines of the two heroes Achilles and Patroclus; Alexander honouring Achilles, and Hephaestion honouring Patroclus. Alexander held an elaborate funeral for Hephaestion at Babylon, and sent a note to the shrine of Ammon, which had previously acknowledged Alexander as a god, asking them to grant Hephaestion divine honours.

The priests declined, but did offer him the status of divine hero. Campaspe Campaspe, also known as Pancaste, may have been the mistress of Alexander, if so one of the first women with whom Alexander was intimate.