Child parent relationship theory and leadership

Behaviour change in individuals and organisations | Health Knowledge

child parent relationship theory and leadership

However it may be useful to consider these health promotion theories in With a little practice and basic understanding of the Parent Adult Child states it is this inter-relationship between ego states which is the focus of Transactional Analysis . .. Management models and theories associated with motivation, leadership. One is to enable people to be better actual parents of their children. Berne used this model of the personality to inform his theory of transactional Of course, this isn't perfect: in any relationship there is also a need for the intuition, The difference between management and leadership · How to improve. To those who deal with parents, it often seems that by the time a theory has been put practice may lag a generation or two behind theories of child develop- ment . child, likely to be a leader in the nursery school situation, but who is also.

Let's take another situation. Perhaps we were picked on and bullied as a child.

» The Parent-Adult-Child model: the basics

We learnt that the way to get by was to bully others and that way we felt stronger and in control. Of course this may cover up our belief that we are really not OK, but nobody sees that. They just see our behaviour, and in fact we may have forgotten all about our negative feelings about ourselves as we have tried so hard to deny the pain of believing we are not OK.

These life positions are perceptions of the world. The reality is I just am and you just are, therefore how I view myself and others are just that "views" not fact. However, we tend to act as if they are a fact.

Just like when somebody says "I can't do this, I'm useless". Rather than "I don't know how to do this. Will you show me? There are a number of ways of diagramming the life positions. Franklin Ernst drew the life positions in quadrants, which he called the OK Corral We have put these into red and green to show the effective and ineffective quadrants for communication and healthy relationships.

By shading in the quadrants according to the amount of time we think we spend in each we can get an idea of the amount of time we spend in each.

child parent relationship theory and leadership

Ernst used the term 'Corralogram' for this method of self-assessment using the OK Corral matrix. OK Corral - Ernst, Berne talked about the life positions as existential positions, one of which we are more likely to go to under stress.

This is significantly different to the concept Ernst uses, i. Whilst there is some truth in this we could agree with Berne that there will be one major position we go into under stress, with perhaps another position underneath this one.

These positions can change as we develop and grow. The difference between Berne and Ernst is important. Chris Davidson writes about the three dimensional model of Okayness. All of the previous diagrams talk as if there were only one other person in the equation, when in reality there are often more. For example, the behaviour of young people in gangs may say that they believe they are okay and perhaps other gangs in their neighbourhood are okay, but an individual or gang from another neighbourhood are not okay.

We often do this at work as well. We find other people who we like and then we gossip and put other people down. We are therefore saying that we believe we are okay but those others are awful underneath this there may be a belief that we are not okay either but we feel better by putting someone else down. In this way the two dimensional model of okayness i.

There is also the way in which we view life itself. If we consider that there is something wrong with us, and that others are not to be trusted and are not OK either, then the world would be a scary place and we are likely to experience life as tough and believe we will only be all right if we keep alert and on the look out for danger and difficulties.

Commonly when emotions are triggered people adopt one of three attitudes relating to blame, which each correlate to a position on the Okay Corral: I'm to blame You are okay and I'm not okay - 'helpless' You are to blame I'm okay and you are not okay - 'angry' We are both to blame I'm not okay and you are not okay - 'hopeless' None of these is a healthy position. Instead the healthy position is, and the mindset should be: It is like having the script of a play in front of us - we read the lines and decide what will happen in each act and how the play will end.

The script is developed from our early decisions based upon our life experience. We may not realise that we have set ourselves a plan but we can often find this out if we ask ourselves what our favorite childhood story was, who was our favorite character in the story and who do we identify with.

Then consider the beginning, middle and end of the story. How is this story reflected in our life today? Another way of getting to what script is may be to think about what we believe will happen when we are in old age. Do we believe we will be alive at 80 or 90 years old, be healthy, happy, and contented?

What do we think will be on the headstone for our grave? What would we like to be on it? There are a number of different perspectives on 'driver' behaviour. Dr Kahler noticed five sets of mutually exclusive behavioural cues.

Transactional Analysis however tells us that the outcome of these interactions is predicated not only on the attitude of the receiver of the feedback, but also on the mindset or attitude from which it comes. Berne identified three observable and distinct core ego states, which he defined as Parent, Adult, and Child. Three Distinct Ego States The Parent state has its origins in the behaviours, thoughts and feelings assimilated and emulated from parents or other parental figures and is formed by the influences that affect us as we develop through our early childhood.

The Parent state can be that of the Nurturing Parent whose qualities are positive and affirming or Critical Parent, representing the authoritative, disciplinarian and prohibitive aspects of parenting and society. The Child state is the ego state in which we behave, react and perceive in a similar manner to how we did as a child.

Transactional Analysis

Child state interactions can include anger, tears and tantrums, in a reprise of the feelings and emotions from our childhood. As with the Parent state, there are two possible aspects to the Child state. They can either rebel against any kind of authority Rebellious Child or they can conform, adapting themselves to the wishes of those around them Adaptive Child.

In the Child state, our responses are primarily driven by the emotions we are feeling.

child parent relationship theory and leadership

Parents naturally speak to Children, as this is their role as a parent. They can talk with other Parents and Adults, although the subject still may be about the children.

In fact these parts of our personality are evoked by the opposite. We also play many games between these positions, and there are rituals from greetings to whole conversations such as the weather where we take different positions for different events. These are often 'pre-recorded' as scripts we just play out.

They give us a sense of control and identity and reassure us that all is still well in the world.

Eric Berne: Transactional Analysis -

Other games can be negative and destructive and we play them more out of sense of habit and addiction than constructive pleasure.

Conflict Complementary transactions occur when both people are at the same level Parent talking to Parent, etc. Here, both are often thinking in the same way and communication is easier. Problems usually occur in Crossed transactions, where each is talking to a different level. The ideal line of communication is the mature and rational Adult-Adult relationship. Being a Controlling Parent invites the other person into a Child state where they may conform with your demands.

There is also a risk that they will be an Adaptive 'naughty child' and rebel.